WLC Week 7

I know I said Tuesday was going to be my posting day, but in the book I've been doing the diet from it says to weigh yourself on the 7th day of the diet. So I have! And I've lost half a stone =) I am very pleased, but felt a little disheartened at first, because in the couple of weeks where i was unfocused I put some weight back on. If I hadn't, I would've been under 17st today and that would've been so ace. However, I firmly believe that I will be under 17st next Monday, and I will be annoyingly happy!

During the week I went for 2 half an hour walks. I know that isn't enough but the weather was severely rough. I found out how horribly unfit I am on these walks, too. I suffer from athsma but when I keep my weight down it actively gets better. So I'm walking along in the cold, and after about 2 minutes my pump stops working, and I actively have to focus on my breathing for the next 10 minutes of my walk, just to make sure I don't have an athsma attack! And that's just walking. It really made me realise though - I've been sacrificing feeling well, and feeling happy, for a few slices of pizza and a bar of chocolate. It's mental. Once the endorphins kicked in and my breathing steadied, I felt miles better, and I'm actually upset that it's raining today so I can't go for a walk! I've felt happier than I have in ages this last week, and it's because I'm finally taking control of my life and sticking to it =)

I think I'll do a video to explain how the diet works, but I am looking a right state because I watched The Notebook last night then fell asleep without taking my makeup off. Cue Panda + Alice Cooper eyes. Oh and crazy hair. Can't forget the crazy hair.




I'll definitely make a video, in fact, because I've just realised I'm posting before Cat so I don't have a challenge! A lot of girls have been posting their celebrity inspirations - mine has always been Kate Winslet. She's beautiful, witty, curvy in all the right places, and whether she's size 12 or size 8 she always looks amazing.



Good luck to everyone this week. =)

xxx

WLC Week 6 - Aaaand I'm back in the game =)

Hello peoples! Sorry for my extremely depressing rant a few days ago. I think sometimes you need to hit the bottom before you can start climbing back up again.

I had a good long talk with my mum, who is just like me in terms of eating, exercise etc. We slagged off my crap friend for a while which was ace, and then we decided on a plan of action.

You'll probably find me ridiculous, chopping and changing all the time, but slimming world's out of the window. I think it was TOO structured for me! I was too bothered by all the rules to really get into the swing of it, then I'd just eat loads and feel bad. Not cool.

So, I'm starting the system that I lost 4 stone on when I was 20. I feel so positive about it. I've been doing it for 2 days and I already feel brilliant, loads more energised, loads happier, and loads more motivated.

Thanks so much to Lisa and Lucy for the kind words earlier in the week, which reminds me...the challenge from last week! The WLC has made me feel many things! It feels brilliant to be part of a group of so many nice girls, some of whom are sooo supportive and lovely. It's amazing to know there's always someone out there to give some support or advice. Also, it's given me a kick up the arse, even when I have a bad week, I'm still focused on the WLC. It's because I can't stand to let Cat down and not post! When I think of all the effort she's put in, I'm quite incredulous that a few people never even got past their first post. Obviously I understand family matters, problems in your life etc, or even if you're just skinny and don't actually need to do it. But I am so grateful to her for sticking with us!

And this weeks challenge, what has the WLC taught me? It's taught me that I can motivate myself and that I can dig myself out of holes. The most important thing I've learnt though is that I think my weight actually reflects my whole outlook on life...when I'm slimmer, I feel like I can do anything. When I'm massive like I am now, I just don't feel like I could ever move back to London, or get a good job, or anything, because I feel trapped by my weight. But no more! Now I've realised that it's what's getting me down, it's given me even more motivation to lose it.

I won't be weighing in this week as I started the new plan 2 days ago, so I'll weigh in next Tuesday, and that will be my blogging day from now on =)

xxxx

Self-pitying ramble. Feel free to ignore.

I'm annoyed with myself that I haven't posted a WLC post this week. Fact is, I've lost my motivation. Seemingly for everything. I am SO fed up. I've got a degree, and I work a job a 17 year old could do. I've wanted to lose weight ever since I was 16, and I keep fucking it up. Oh, and my best friend doesn't even seem to want to know me anymore.

It's the thing with my best friend that hurts me the most, and makes me the most apathetic. Where originally it made me feel angry, and thankfully I turned that anger into motivation, now I just feel upset and kind of listless. How do I summon up any kind of self worth to change myself if someone I've known for 10 years decides I'm not worth bothering with, and that she'd rather spend all her time with her boyfriend and new friends? I feel like I'm just not a good enough person to want to change myself, because she's made me feel that way. Maybe I should just climb in the fridge and stay there.

I feel all this desire to change my eating habits, change my lifestyle, but then I just seem to sink back into the same bad routine every time. I can't seem to keep up a diet any longer than a month without cracking. And for what? It's just food. Just something that tastes nice, that lasts a minute and then it's gone. So why do I stop myself being happy just for a bite of chocolate or a slice of pizza? It makes NO sense. When my motivation's up, the little voice in my head is deafened by my common sense and willpower, and I can say no to just about anything. Then as the weeks go by my resolve weakens, and the little voice in my head that tells me to eat all the fecking time seems to be deafening.

I realise that last paragraph made me sound a little bit mental. I don't have mental problems, I hope everyone understood what I meant by the little voice in my head. The part of me that essentially, doesn't give a shit, and just wants chocolate.

And my degree! I have a 2:1 from a London University, and because Uni made me so poor and I graduated in a recession in June etc I'm working 22 and a half hours a week for the government, ringing people up to do shitty surveys, being supervised by people who definitely don't have degrees and definitely won't ever leave this town. I miss London so badly - the buzz, the fact there's always something going on or something new to see. I miss walking through the streets and feeling completely at home. Can't stand the small-town mentality of where I live. 10% of people in my town voted BNP last election. That's how ignorant the people who live around me are.

But as the months have gone on, my will to change things, my will to get back to London and start a real career...well it just seems to ebb away every day I don't get away from this place. Every day I don't lose weight. And every day my best friend doesn't want to know me.

Something's got to change but for the life of me, I don't know how to do it and I don't know what to do. All I know is I'm sad, and I'm not used to being sad. Sorry for being so negative and self-involved. Sometimes I just have to write stuff down, and I'm afraid I don't have anywhere else to do it. Hope everyone has a lovely day.

WLC Week 4 - Brought to you by the words "meh", and "geh", and the number 2.

First things first, I have had a crap, unproductive week. Me and the boyfriend nearly broke up, AGAIN, because he was going through my phone while I was out of the room. I didn't eat loads but I didn't eat great things, and I felt pretty sure I'd put on weight. And I have.

Only 2lbs, which at my size isn't a lot, but it still makes me feel a bit meh. I've decided I need a little more structure with what I eat, so today, finally getting a burst of motivation, I looked out my old slimming world books. I've always thought slimming world was the best weightloss class around, having tried weightwatchers, cambridge diet, rosemary conley etc and not being able to imagine doing them long term. Slimming world doesn't forbid anything (much like weightwatchers), but the science behind slimming world is what gives me great faith in it. It's mainly concerned with how you mix your proteins and carbohydrates, and essentially seperates them into different days. You can still have small amounts of protein on carb days, and vice versa though.

So, yeah. I looked out my old slimming world books, went through them for at least an hour, and compiled SEVERAL lists. 2 pages to remind me of the rules for different days. A shopping list for each week. And 2 pages of meals I could make for breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Like I said, I need structure. I'm not a particularly organised person generally but I really wish I was. So I have these little spells of perfectionism. Geh.



I didn't manage to do Cat's challenge this week and I'm bummed out about it. I have no motivation or inspiration =( It's my own fault and I need to give myself a kick up the backside but I'm finding it hard. How do you all motivate yourselves to get up and exercising? If you've got any words of advice I would be very very grateful for them.

As for the recipe challenge, I'm really sorry but I am THE most basic of chefs. I can cook all the usual things, but I don't want to patronise people by putting up a recipe of how to cook a spag bol or a baked potato...

Also, I just wanted to say thankyou for the big response to last week's post, in particular Cat's reply. He's been better this week as I think he's finally realised how unhappy being this size makes me. We'll see how it goes on.

Good luck to everyone for the next week!

A little inspiration for the WLC girls

Hey everyone, I just thought I'd share something I ripped out of a magazine about 2 years ago. I have no idea who said it, but every time I read it I feel a little better and a lot more motivated. Enjoy =)

"There's an old dutch proverb that goes, 'A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.' How many times have we thrown in the towel just because the weight didn't come off at the rate we would like? How often has bitter disappointment tormented us to the point of complete abandon? Think back to your own weight gain. Did you put on a pound a month? Did you have some months when you didn't gain anything and others where your weight went up by two or three pounds?

You probably don't know your rate of gain for sure because you weren't looking, you weren't monitoring closely, you weren't too concerned. So, that pound a month, which is nothing at all really, actually ended up with us about a stone heavier than we were a year before. Five years of that and there we are - five stone overweight!

Our problem now we've decided to lose weight is that suddenly we're very interested. Now we're monitoring closely. Now we're concerned. So high on my list of vital tools to help you succeed is patience. We need the patience to accept that losing a pound a week is extremely good going, and the patience to accept that some weeks it's OK to stand still and then lose a couple of pounds the week after. In fact, what we desperately need is patience with ourselves for not doing everything perfectly.

'Perfectionist thinking' is such a big stumbling block for so many of us. Instead of feeling good about every improvement we make, no matter how small, we kick ourselves because we feel we could have done better. So come on folks, give yourself a pat on the back. Congratulate yourself every time you break the habit of eating beyond fullness, everytime you skip dessert, or don't snack on crisps. These small changes are significant, important and praiseworthy.

There are some things I'd love to ban, and perfectionist thinking is certainly one of them. Guilt, blame, harmful anger, jealousy, pride - all these pile up to create a negative mind-set that damages our chances of losing weight.

So enjoy the journey, every step of it, every moment of the Big Dipper ride, the ups and downs. And let's keep in mind that when you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's too enjoy each step along the way."